Do I Live For Nothing (Page 7 of 25)

Fixed it. ^_^
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Sara still doesn't look up. "He told me about the bounty, how big it was, said I really pissed some people off. He said he'd protect me, that he wouldn't let anyone collect on that bounty... he even proved his words." She pauses. "Yet in the end it was all for him. "

She looks up at Vector. "I wouldn't have cared if they killed me... in fact, I did my job hoping to find someone who could outdo me. I wanted to die fighting. But no, they cursed me to something far worse than death or even tortue. To be owned by someone..." Her emotions raged again but only fear and pain.

Sara seems to relax but only slightly. "I know it's gone; it's all in the past but that doesn't erase the memories... it doesn't stop the nightmares."

"You aren't the only one. Some things take a long time to forget, others will never be forgotten. But don't let those memories destroy you. It's alright."

Vector holds her closer, then, "Sara, I want you to know that you are not alone. There are others who have things they'd like to forget, even me. I...want you to see why I came back from Mustafar changed." Vector takes her hand, and places it on the side of his head. through the force, he shows her what he saw on Mustafar, all the people that died, the darkside  of the force drawing on him.

I Am Jedi

"Too close. You felt it, the sense of power, the desire,...but the pain also. That's why I have to find out how to fight the darkside. There must be a better way than just emptying myself of emotion. That did not help me fight it. It will be the same with you. I want to find a way for us to put the past behind us, to get rid of the anger and hatred and not let that make us weak."

I Am Jedi

Vector looks at her for a long time before answering. "That's what I'm going to find out. Wounds that never heal only weaken us; it is the healing that makes us stronger. Your wound from the smuggler has not healed, and as a result you cannot trust. My wound from Mustafar has not healed, and I am now only confused about the nature of the force. Healing those wounds, learning how to move beyond them, is where the strength is."

"As to anger and hate, I don't know what to think. Emotions are strong, but I felt them drawing me to the darkside. Anger was not the darkside, but it made the darkside look desireable and useful. I know that's wrong, but whether anger is wrong or not, I don't know. If it drives me to the kinds of actions I saw on Mustafar, yes; but how do I fight it. That's what I have to discover.......for both our sakes, for all Jedi."

I Am Jedi

Vector sighs from frustration and confussion. "Those are the things that I have to find out. Can i control anger, have emotion, feel love, without allowing it to drag me to the actions of the darkside? I don't know. I don't know."

"But to trust"...Vector shakes his head. "One could view it as a weakness...or a strength."

I Am Jedi

common cratus where are you?

"Yes" Vector nods in agreement. "I have felt that, deep inside, for a long time. But...I want to put it to the test. I want to know that it is possible to feel things without being controlled by them or driven to the darkside."

Vector looks at her, brushing a strand of hair away from her forehead, drawing his hand back slowly. "Perhaps we aren't so different after all...you and I."

I Am Jedi

Vector grabs his pack and lightsabers. "Let's head out then. Yi'shar, comon!"

They head down the ramp into the hanger bay. "Quite a little planet." says Vector looking around. "I can see why it would be easy for someone to hide here. Where do you think your....your contact is?"

I Am Jedi