Re: Do I Live For Nothing
I sense a repeated post in the force...
Where's the Cratus?
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I sense a repeated post in the force...
Where's the Cratus?
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yeah, my internet screwed up. sorry.
Fixed it. ^_^
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Sara still doesn't look up. "He told me about the bounty, how big it was, said I really pissed some people off. He said he'd protect me, that he wouldn't let anyone collect on that bounty... he even proved his words." She pauses. "Yet in the end it was all for him. "
She looks up at Vector. "I wouldn't have cared if they killed me... in fact, I did my job hoping to find someone who could outdo me. I wanted to die fighting. But no, they cursed me to something far worse than death or even tortue. To be owned by someone..." Her emotions raged again but only fear and pain.
Vector walks over to Sara and holds her, "I'm sorry, but it's alright, it's alright. It's over, gone. You'll never have to face that again as long as I'm alive."
Sara seems to relax but only slightly. "I know it's gone; it's all in the past but that doesn't erase the memories... it doesn't stop the nightmares."
Jester and Sion haven't posted so I'm useless in this topic...
Unless...
Naw, I'll do that later.
"You aren't the only one. Some things take a long time to forget, others will never be forgotten. But don't let those memories destroy you. It's alright."
Vector holds her closer, then, "Sara, I want you to know that you are not alone. There are others who have things they'd like to forget, even me. I...want you to see why I came back from Mustafar changed." Vector takes her hand, and places it on the side of his head. through the force, he shows her what he saw on Mustafar, all the people that died, the darkside of the force drawing on him.
She pulls away from him and looks out the window. "You- you came so close..." She looks up at him slowly, watching him carefully.
"Too close. You felt it, the sense of power, the desire,...but the pain also. That's why I have to find out how to fight the darkside. There must be a better way than just emptying myself of emotion. That did not help me fight it. It will be the same with you. I want to find a way for us to put the past behind us, to get rid of the anger and hatred and not let that make us weak."
"Your wounds make you stronger... pain is simply weakness leaving the body. Anger makes you ruthless... and hate? Hate makes you merciless. Are such things truly weaknesses?" She glances up at Vector.
Vector looks at her for a long time before answering. "That's what I'm going to find out. Wounds that never heal only weaken us; it is the healing that makes us stronger. Your wound from the smuggler has not healed, and as a result you cannot trust. My wound from Mustafar has not healed, and I am now only confused about the nature of the force. Healing those wounds, learning how to move beyond them, is where the strength is."
"As to anger and hate, I don't know what to think. Emotions are strong, but I felt them drawing me to the darkside. Anger was not the darkside, but it made the darkside look desireable and useful. I know that's wrong, but whether anger is wrong or not, I don't know. If it drives me to the kinds of actions I saw on Mustafar, yes; but how do I fight it. That's what I have to discover.......for both our sakes, for all Jedi."
"To trust is to open yourself... a weak spot in your almost otherwise unbreakable armor. To feel anger is to let something else control you; it beats you, tames you in a since. Yet without evil then who can name what is good? Without the Sith how could you tell who the Jedi were?"
She moves a loose strand of hair out of her face. "Anger must exsist, must burn within your soul so that it's opposite has a place. To feel hate? Hate is the same as anger. You hate something because you love what it contradicts. The Sith hate the Jedi because they condemn power and emotion, the things the Sith thrive on."
Vector sighs from frustration and confussion. "Those are the things that I have to find out. Can i control anger, have emotion, feel love, without allowing it to drag me to the actions of the darkside? I don't know. I don't know."
"But to trust"...Vector shakes his head. "One could view it as a weakness...or a strength."
Sarlas: "Cratus' force aura is... strong. I can feel him emerging himself..."
Phara: (Looks out of window, into the stars...)
common cratus where are you?
Sara sighs. "To feel emotion is only natural. To feel anger means you can be happy. It can easily be controlled. However, when it consumes your every thought, controls your actions... that is when it has tamed you instead."
She traces a faint line on her jeans. "To hate means you can love. But it is just like anger: too much and you become it's slave. Yet emotions do not lead you to the darkside. To feel emotions is to be able to feel a much greater pain than anything pyhsical... that is what the Masters try to shield us from. They fear that pain and fear... is what leads most down such dark paths."
She looks up at Vector. "But to feel emotions, to feel that pain only makes you human..."
"Yes" Vector nods in agreement. "I have felt that, deep inside, for a long time. But...I want to put it to the test. I want to know that it is possible to feel things without being controlled by them or driven to the darkside."
Vector looks at her, brushing a strand of hair away from her forehead, drawing his hand back slowly. "Perhaps we aren't so different after all...you and I."
Sara stares into Vector's eyes for a moment... searching. "Perhaps..."
A voice comes over the ship's comm suddenly: Breakneck this is Zoist LDP, you have been cleared. I repeat you have been cleared. Please proceed to loading hanger A113.
Sara turns back to the ships controls and presses a button. "Thanks. Proceeding as ordered.
Sara tampers with the ships controls and steers the ship towards the planet. A short time later they land in a hanger bay, cut into the side of a mountain. The planet is covered with lush, thick forest.
Sara opens the loading ramp and turns back to Vector. "Well, here we are."
Vector grabs his pack and lightsabers. "Let's head out then. Yi'shar, comon!"
They head down the ramp into the hanger bay. "Quite a little planet." says Vector looking around. "I can see why it would be easy for someone to hide here. Where do you think your....your contact is?"
Sara looks around. "I've got a pretty good idea-"
Suddenly a group of people in uniformed armor come towards them. THe label on their armor reads Zoist Security. The man in the middle, obviously a cpatain, smiles as he comes towards them. "Sara, long time no see."
Sara smiles and runs towards the man, giving him a big hug. The man seems extremely grateful, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her close. He pushes her back a little and kisses her briefly before Sara pulls away.
She points to Vector and Yi'shar and leads the man towards them. The other four men stay behind. As the man comes closer the name on his armor becomes clear: Soral.
Sara looks at Vector and Yi'shar. "Vector, Yi'shar, this is Rane. My... um, contact." She smiles again.
Rane looks at her, his smile matching hers. He then looks back at Vector, extending his hand. "Pleasure."