Michigan cold

If you want to get an idea of how cold it is here in Michigan (and to help you understand this joke) go to http://justweather.com and select "Detroit Michigan".

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat
People in Michigan plant gardens.
50 above zero:

Gulf Coast people shiver uncontrollably.
People in Kalamazoo sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in the Grand River gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Arizonians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:
People in Tucson all die.
Michiganders close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Michigan get out their winter coats

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies.........door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get upset because they can't start their diesel trucks.

460 (-459.67 F below zero):
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero, zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Michigan public schools will open 2 hours late
It's winter in Michigan
And the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour at 22 below!

Oh, how I love Michigan
When the snow's up to your butt,
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose is frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
I guess I'll hang around.
I could never leave Michigan ,
Cause I'm frozen to the ground